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How Men Can Survive a Divorce and Get Smarter at the Same Time

How Men Can Survive a Divorce and Get Smarter at the Same Time

If you are a recently divorced man, how long you were in your last marriage is very important. For instance, if you just left your third wife after being married for 2-3 years, you are facing much different problems then if you find yourself divorced after 15 years with your first wife. In either case, your first impulse might very well be to jump into the dating game feet first and as quickly as possible. Big mistake. Women will view you much the same as you might view a used car you are thinking of buying. How many miles is on it, was it abused or taken care of, was the oil changed regularly and what is its repair history?

If you were married for what passes as a long time these days, 10-15 years, you should be aware of the fact that the world of women out there has changed dramatically. Those single women you might find attractive are smarter, better educated, filled with self-confidence, have better jobs, earn more money and have their radar finely tuned to pick up BS. Don’t believe me? Walk up to one and ask her what her sign is. You might as well have a big sticker pasted to your forehead screaming “don’t date me”!

It will help if you begin to view yourself as a product, or a commodity if you wish. Something that needs to be examined carefully before any sale is contemplated. So the first bit of advice I have for you is to neaten up. Nothing is more disgusting to a woman than a slob. She might even be one herself but that doesn’t mean she needs a reminder when she’s with you. You will most certainly have new living quarters so keep them clean and neat. That does not mean throwing your dirty laundry behind the sofa. The first time a date sees where you live she will make a judgment about you and it will help the relationship if the judgment is a good one.

A second suggestion is to carefully examine your attitude about women. For most men today, that means making an honest judgment about how you view women. A good sign that that you might need to work on this is if you think Hooters is a cool place to hang out. If the answer is yes you have a serious problem and might even need some professional help. There are women, of course, who think the bigger their busts the more attractive they are and there are men who agree with that. They deserve each other. For the rest of you, there is a world of beautiful women, extremely attractive women, who are thin and with small breasts that await you. If you are fortunate enough to attract one of them and even eventually marry one, trust me when I say that many years later they will still be beautiful while the others might well have turned into something less attractive.

If you make a really serious effort to be a more mature male, to grow up and drop your childish attitudes, you will find that dating a woman for her personality and searching for what the two of you might have in common far outweighs whether she is “hot” or not. You can take this to the bank – there are very few women your age, whatever that might be, that are not more mature and make better judgments than you. Your challenge is to try and catch up to them.

It’s only natural for a recently divorced guy to miss the companionship of a family. If you have kids it’s even worse. That doesn’t mean you should go out and start dating any women you can find because they will not begin to fill that void you are seeking to fill. Whether you have children from a divorce or not I have some excellent advice for you. Learn to cook! I don’t mean rush out and join a culinary institute, I mean learn to cook a decent meal, get to know your way around a kitchen, give yourself the opportunity to invite your kids, or your dates, over to show off your cooking prowess. Learning to cook will not only add a totally new dimension to you as a person, it will save you a lot of money and keep you healthier. Knowing how to cook will help fill up those lonely, non-dating nights and keep you out of the singles bars when your only reason for going is that you’re lonely.

To sum up, learn to be neat because no one likes a slob and you need the discipline in your life that being neat provides. Adjust your attitude about women and start looking at them as individuals, each with a different personality and some remarkable attributes that you will surely miss if you keep your eyes glued to their breasts or elsewhere. As mature as we men like to think we are, we all can benefit from growing up a little.

And finally, learn to cook a really good meal. There are over 60,000 cookbooks on Amazon alone, some good, some bad and some beyond bad. Mine, Help-I Gotta Cook! was awarded Cookbook of the Year, contains a comprehensive Cooking Guide and 325 recipe Cookbook that will have you cooking a great meal the day you buy it.

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